Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A Year Ago . . .

A year ago I was still in labor with Tyler. I was eating ice chips like crazy and probably on my 5th Jello cup. I was starved and in lots of pain. At this point, they had already given me one epidural and it was not working. I would later ask the kind anesthesiologist to try again because I was hurting pretty bad and no where near pushing.

Around 5:00 pm I started pushing only to push for another 4 hours. Our poor family in the waiting room was about to lose it. No one knew anything and they were sneaking to the door just to listen. The nurses were sending them back to the waiting room with no information. My mom was on pins and needles thinking that something was terribly wrong. In a way she was correct, I just could not push any longer and I needed a c-section.

My mental state was deteriorating as well. After my adrenaline rush wore off my body realized how hard it worked and how jacked up it was with drugs and hormones, and I started to shake violently which scared me. I thought I was dying and started crying uncontrollably. I could barely sign the papers for my third round of epidural drugs.

I was still shaking terribly as they moved me to the operating table. While they were prepping me Tony ran to the waiting room to tell our worried family what was going on.

Now at this point I had been in labor for close to 24 hours. I had not slept in 36 hours. I had pushed for 4 hours, and we were on our 6th nurse because of shift changes.

I was terrified because Tony was still not by my side and I could still feel them poking my right side. I just knew that it was going to be severely painful. Finally, Tony was by my head and the burning started, or should I say the fire. I swore they had started a fire on me and it was tearing through me. I begged for mercy from the nurses in the form of more drugs to stop the pain, but they said until Tyler was out they could not give me more.

As they held him up he cried and peed on the nurse. I was not present enough in mind to realize all of this. They were giving me more drugs that seemed to help significantly. So much so they had to remind me to breath and stay awake. I could barely focus on Tony or Tyler's faces. They were both so beautiful to me and I was so glad I had them both right there with me, but I was so tired.

It was hard. I had no allusions that it would be easy, and I have been asked if we will have anymore after this experience? Yes, I certainly hope so. The end result is so worth it. Having Tyler means more than any sort of temporary pain I experienced getting him here. I am truly blessed to have such a sweet, funny, and loving little fella.

Happy Birthday Tyler! Momma loves you so much, and I hope we get to celebrate many more birthdays together.


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